


Starry Sky

by Puniyo



Series: Compass [5]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 1st person pov, A little angst?, Experimental writing, Fluff and more fluff, I never tried it before, M/M, Sugar warning, of course fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 16:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12016932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puniyo/pseuds/Puniyo
Summary: Javier realizes that there are things he might never know about Yuzuru. He might also have things he might never let Yuzuru know.





	Starry Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Juliet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12008505) by [Mother_North](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North). 



> This fic is both a thank you gift inspired by [My Juliet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12008505) by [Mother_North](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North) and a challenge for me personally since I have never written extensively with a 1st person POV. I say a challenge because this is definitely tougher than I had imagined it to be but hey! my muse came today and that's a huge pat on my back. It is also different from my usual style (I guess) so maybe not so purple this time :p 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy ^^
> 
> P.S. - A little throwback to FaOI this year since Tumblr is full of images of cat!Yuzu :p 
> 
> Disclaimer: the ideas written and presented in this fic do not reflect the thoughts of the people mentioned. This is purely from my imagination.

_Fantasy on Ice 2017_

It stays true to its name. It does. It doesn’t matter if it is lunch time or if your fans wave banners with your name and fabrics of gold and silver sewn together with a few designs of feathers – a homage to you and your name. It’s their way to thank you and support your legacy on this slippery ice. There is the rectangular white flag of your country with the central red sun that looks after you and accompanies you to the podium every time. I can see Spain’s flag too as I launch into the triple Axel and listen to the wild screams even when my knees betray me on the landing, but it’s you who steal their voices and command the chorus not with a baton but with your unfathomable quadruple toe loop and your cat’s gaze.

The music is loud, the bass still rising. Yet, I can almost hear the _meow_ and I’m shaking. It’s exciting and I’m _excited_. It’s thrilling and I’m _thrilled_ to my bones. The show continues and I _try_ to follow the choreography. Sweat drips from my temple and slide down my spine as your hands run up your torso in your careless and improvised feline caresses.

A wild lynx who doesn’t want to be tamed but I want you. I don’t need a collar or a leash – I want you to come on your own, in that same seductive sway of hips and coy smile only you can have. I follow the others – it’s almost the end of the song and I nearly forget to greet the audience. We all extend our arms and hands as we skate around the rink but I’m battling a force that pulls me to you. It’s your magnetism and I can only look at your back – do you realize this gravity and my powerlessness?

The guitar goes through the last riff and the spotlight is on us. Your shoulder blades hit mine and I swear there is an electric shock. You chuckle softly and I know you felt it too. _Lean on me, lean more on me_ , I want to say but I’m the one who wants more contact – your neck, your arms, your legs.

 _Bang!_ My bullet went to someone but yours pierced me.

It stays true to its name. It does. It’s my _fantasia_ with you on the ice.

_You might not know it, Yuzuru, but I dream of you._

*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*

_A Song for You_

There is still time and we all laugh. Oda-kun goes around with his usual jokes and Jeffrey is still running out of breath from his _Isn’t She Lovely_ program but I barely exchange a few words with him as I hear your name from the speakers. My skates are resting in the conditioned room, next to your guards, and I sprint to the rink, luckily not bumping into anyone. Brian is here too and he just smiles, reminding me not to trip on the ‘stable’ ground.

I hide behind the black curtains and everyone is clapping for you. I am too. My palms are sweating and no sound is produced but there is more than just clapping that I want to do with my hands. The piano starts, the notes roam freely on the stave. It is dark, the limelight is on you only. You might not see me but I can trace every single line your edges majestically carve on the ice.

The rink is small, too small for your powerful jumps and yet, I love every single imperfection on them. Maybe they are perfect in this fantasy we are selling.

 _A song for you_ – keep it single. I always hear you say it. Simple. Just like your black pants and white, plain shirt. The epitome of simplicity but it clings to you as a second skin and you’re handsome. It is simple but I swear I could lose myself in your jazz twizzles – I want to lose myself in them.

 _But we’re alone now_. We are. There is no audience or judges to scrutinize us. Look at me Javi. Who do you throw those glances at? For whom is the shortness of breath?

 _There’s no space or time_. I can’t see your programs when we are competing, the clock is against us and numbers are always a barrier to disappointment and a lullaby for depression. But here it’s a grain of sand suspended in the hourglass and I finally witness your art. It is clumsily sloppy on your ankles, demandingly emotional on the lunge and spread eagle and… _ah!_ I’m afraid the velvet curtain will fall with the way I pulled it – you looked in this direction. Did you notice me?

 _Remember when we were together_. My cheeks are hot. It’s the combined heat of the arena. My heart is beating faster. It’s the combined drumming of the audience. But the love is only mine.

_You might not know it, Javier, but I always see you._

*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*

Another video on YouTube, another text on Twitter, another picture on Instagram – there is no possible escape, is there? It’s almost the start of the season. No, the season has started but it’s not yet our time to take the stage. You go for Chopin again and I return to Chaplin. Can polar opposites meet? Classical music and a satiric comedy on the same spectrum – at least we share the ‘Cs’. It’s funny, it entertains me, and you move next to me.

I’m sorry if I have woken you up. _Shsss_ , go back to sleep, the night has just started. There is an ocean of stars and constellations I can’t identify or name, and they are guides to the land of blissful lethargy. Let them escort you.

My thigh is numb but I won’t move. Your head is resting there, your beautiful obsidian eyes closed and your hair draped over them and your forehead. Your thin lips are drawn into a curve line I can’t tell if it’s a smile or something else.

There are things I can never tell about you. I’m still going for the race though and I won’t stop. It’s the _impossible dream_ while you ride on the furor of _Seimei_ – the 和 to my _ira Española_. I want to know more – the hunger in you that cameras only capture what their filtered lenses can, the ease you fly against the wall without any fears, and the reason you don’t wake even when Effie crawls to your naked feet like now.

It’s dark, it’s night time and the moon is gone. My bed is small but we both fit here. Your knees are drawn to your chest, tired from your interviews all day long and constant run-throughs. You’re not vulnerable but I want to hug you.

There are probably things you can never tell about me. You might not know that I can’t sleep when you unexpectedly come on a whim, because I want to imprint the image of you, once again, in my mind. You might not know that I like your broken English and animated gestures that I can’t imitate when you tried to explain why you came tonight. You might not know that I feel jealous of Effie, because you embrace her without hesitation and let her make of your lap her refuge.

_You might not know, Yuzuru, that you belong to all the people who support you but here, you are mine only._

**Author's Note:**

> 'A Song for You' was the music and respective program that Javier skated in Kobe so the certain italic expressions are actually lyrics.
> 
> 'The Impossible Dream' (from Man de la Mancha) is Javier's upcoming Long Program/Free Skate. Please do correct me if I'm wrong.
> 
> 和 (wa) - a Japanese cultural concept signifying 'harmony'. It is also a name for Japan (information straight from Wikipedia).
> 
> ira Española - the Spanish fury - just an expression I came up with to show that Javier cares about his roots. His upcoming FS is the portrayal of a popular Spanish figure as well.


End file.
